kirbyLOVESduke

Why Do Men Keep Putting Me in the Girlfriend-Zone?

Fri, 24 May 2013 22:04:51 -0400

You know how it is, right, ladies? You know a guy for a while. You hang out with him. You do fun things with him—play video games, watch movies, go hiking, go to concerts. You invite him to your parties. You listen to his problems. You do all this because you think he wants to be your friend.

But then, then comes the fateful moment where you find out that all this time, he’s only seen you as a potential girlfriend. And then if you turn him down, he may never speak to you again. This has happened to me time after time: I hit it off with a guy, and, for all that I’ve been burned in the past, I start to think that this one might actually care about me as a person. And then he asks me on a date.

I tell him how much I enjoy his company, how much I value his friendship. I tell him that I really want to be his friend and to continue hanging out with him and talking about our favorite books or exploring new restaurants or making fun of avant-garde theatre productions. But he rejects me. He doesn’t answer my calls or e-mails; if we’d been making plans to do something before this fateful incident, these plans mysteriously fail to materialize. (This is why I never did get around to seeing the Hunger Games movie. Not to name any names, but thanks a lot, Tom.) Later, when I run into him at social events, our conversations are awkward and lukewarm. This is because the moment we met, he put me in the girlfriend-zone, and now he can’t see me as friend material.

I must say that I find this really unfair. I mean, I’m a nice girl. I have a lot to offer as a friend, like not being a douchebag and stuff. But males just don’t want to be friends with nice girls like me. They can’t help it, I guess; it’s just how they’re wired, biologically. Evolution conditioned our male hominid ancestors to seek nice girls as mates and form friendship bonds only with the other dudes that they hunted mammoths with. It’s true—I know this because I studied hominids in my fifth-grade science class.

So what’s the answer? Should I take up mammoth-hunting in an attempt to appeal to the friendship centers of men’s primal lizardbrains? Should I keep making guy “friends” and then prevent them from making a move on me by subtly undermining their self-confidence? Should I just give up on those manipulative, game-playing, two-faced bastards once and for all? I don’t know. I mean, I’d really like to have a true friendship with a guy someday, but it’s so hard to trust and respect them when they never say what they mean—and you never know when you might be relegated to the girlfriend-zone.

pol102: From firstbook: Read more Well, that’s partly because...

Wed, 22 May 2013 13:40:16 -0400

pol102:

From firstbook:

Read more

Well, that’s partly because IQ is not necessarily an actual measure of intelligence. There’s a lot of debate about this (both in terms of problems of conceptualization and measurement validity). But we do know that IQ tests are culturally biased in many ways.

For example: When we moved to the US (from Bolivia), my younger brother (Sam) and I were given IQ tests to determine whether we should get into the gifted program. I was about 10 years old, and spoke Spanish and English. Sam was about 6 years old, and didn’t speak English (only Spanish).

I struggled with the IQ test, but passed. I remember one particular tricky problem that asked me to look at an object and match it with another object. In this case, it was a butterfly. My two options were a nail and a net. Now, I had never seen anyone catch butterflies with a net (it was a “foreign” concept to me). I knew the nail looked “off,” but at least I had seen butterflies pinned to boards at museums (and I had an uncle that had a lovely pinned butterfly collection on his wall back in Bolivia). So I chose the nail. I associated it with the butterfly. That choice marked me as “not bright.”

My brother had a tougher time with his IQ test, since it was administered by a monolingual English speaker and he was a monolingual Spanish speaker and he was only 6 years old. He didn’t get into the gifted program. Nevertheless, he went on to become an engineer and could hold his own in political theory discussions with my graduate school friends when he was a freshman undergraduate. Oh, and did I mention that he could estimate a calculus function in his head (stuff like that was a great help during my graduate methods courses!)?

But the IQ test weeded Sam out of the gifted program because he was a confused, recent immigrant non-English speaker asked to do a lot of random tasks by a stranger who spoke to him only in English.

C’est la vie, I guess.

a-false-memory: Happy Mother’s Day!

Mon, 13 May 2013 01:10:52 -0400

a-false-memory:

Happy Mother’s Day!

McDonald’s Chalkboard MenuWarsaw, Poland Updated twice...

Fri, 10 May 2013 16:40:15 -0400

McDonald’s Chalkboard Menu
Warsaw, Poland

Updated twice daily by graffiti artist Stefan Szwed-Stronzynski

18mr: Foodie Friday: last week we featured a regional item, but...

Fri, 10 May 2013 15:36:36 -0400

18mr:

Foodie Friday: last week we featured a regional item, but this week’s uniquely Asian American food is the ubiquitous California roll.

Invented by sushi chef Ichiro Manashita of Tokyo Kaikan in Los Angeles in the early 70s as a way to ease American eaters into more traditional sushi, Manashita replaced toro with avocado because the texture is comparable.

Today, California rolls are the most popular kind of sushi at Japanese restaurants across the U.S., and many food historians credit the California roll as the item that made sushi approachable for American audiences.

Photo

Fri, 10 May 2013 15:34:26 -0400

Coffee PropagandaAJ Bae, Janice Ahn, Yoon Sun Lee, and Zach...

Thu, 09 May 2013 21:20:00 -0400

Coffee Propaganda
AJ Bae, Janice Ahn, Yoon Sun Lee, and Zach Eastburg

92nd ADC Awards + Animation Bronze
Produced at Art Center College of Design

Copi discovers an amazing cherry called coffee bean and broadcasts a newsreel of information about the facts of coffee.

Did not know coffee was the 2nd most traded commodity in the world!

ediesedgwick thank god he’ll be able to make his movie...

Tue, 30 Apr 2013 18:41:16 -0400

ediesedgwick

thank god he’ll be able to make his movie about some ugly white guy having an existential crisis. There aren’t enough of those.

numbedtoe

IKR? I just feel like film hasn’t yet explored the massive intricacies of the comfortable upper middle class white man and his trouble finding an emotional connection in his massively consumer driven life.

It’s so painfully hard to eat organic and go to the gym and make small talk about Fox News stories while you drive your nice car, go home to your insanely underpriced apartment\home that your maid has cleaned for you all the while feeling so disconnected from your surroundings.

maybe he’ll go to Africa or India to find an emotional connection.

Poor white man, with no films to speak to his experience.

From: Zach Braff hits back at Kickstarter critics

Gonna make you sweat.Gonna make you wet.You know who I amWet...

Fri, 26 Apr 2013 17:39:00 -0400

Gonna make you sweat.
Gonna make you wet.
You know who I am
Wet PSYYYYYYY!

logotv: REBLOG if you want Jinkx Monsoon to be America’s Next...

Mon, 22 Apr 2013 23:27:40 -0400

logotv:

REBLOG if you want Jinkx Monsoon to be America’s Next Drag Superstar!

Photo

Mon, 22 Apr 2013 01:54:24 -0400

pag-asaharibon: Filipino Heritage in Martial Arts Federico...

Sun, 21 Apr 2013 01:13:36 -0400

pag-asaharibon:

Filipino Heritage in Martial Arts

Federico Malibago, a Filipino American martial artist from Minnesota, appears in the “The Bladed Hand”, a first of its kind documentary on Filipino martial arts.

“The Bladed Hand” examines the secret world of Filipino Martial Arts (FMA, also known also known as “Arnis”, “Eskrima” and “Kali”. Together these age-old fight systems have transformed the traditional fighting styles once used for tribal defense it to the today’s world, including law enforcement training and the martial arts culture worldwide.

“The film was made as a labor of love and not by a giant studio,” said Malibago.

It was out of dedication to Filipino martial arts as a cultural heritage that Malibago said he dedicated his own resources to host as director and the video.

FMA is prevalent in many notable martial arts classics, however, most viewers, even martial arts aficionados, may not realize that in movies such as Bruce Lee’s “Enter the Dragon” and many Jason Bourne movies where FMA techniques are present.

Military and law enforcement organizations throughout the world have been trained in Filipino Martial Arts because of the effectiveness of their technique. Many martial arts school also incorporate these techniques in their teachings.

Yet, in the land of their birth, the arts still largely remain in a secretive and arcane world, existing in the periphery of a modernizing developing country that often seeks to embrace foreign values and culture, while neglecting its own.

The documentary brings FMA’s story to its birthplace and documents the pride and interest in an art that is only now coming to prominence as Filipinos are realizing their art form is having an impact on the martial arts worldwide whether it be in the ring, cinema or in law enforcement.

Film creator and producer Jay Ignacio said the film came about from his interest in this secretive cultural treasure. The film documents FMA’s transformation throughout the world. Ignacio respond to questions from Asian American Press via email.

AAP: What inspired you to do this project?

JI: I study Philippine History in my spare time, and I realized that we have an indigenous martial art that Filipinos look over, while the rest of the world propagates it. I felt compelled to tell the story of FMA so that Filipinos will learn to treasure it.

AAP: What can others learn for you as relates to their own communities?

JI: They can learn that there is more to Filipino culture than just being a conquered people wanting to work or immigrate abroad.

AAP: What is the message you feel the film brings across?

JI: Based on the reactions at the Press Premiere last July 7, and the succeeding screenings, people understood my message that the Filipino Martial Arts are a significant part of our cultural identity, and that we should do something to keep it alive.

AAP: How do you think the film will be received by the MN Audience?

JI: I am expecting mixed reactions. Some will love it, for sure, but some will question its validity. I tackled some issues that have long been propagated as historical fact, when in fact, some of that date is questionable, or may need further evidence. And I am sure some will wonder why I left out certain personalities, groups or events in the history of FMA in the Philippines.

AAP: Are there any challenges you had to overcome in the development of the project?

JI: A lot! Some people I wanted to interview did not want to be interviewed. I’ve not been able to access certain museums and institution, or even certain archival material. I’ve had to make tough decisions regarding the editing (what to keep, and what to leave out). I’ve even received death threats.

AAP: Do you have any upcoming projects in addition to this one that you have completed?

JI: I have not completed any other documentary yet, but I started researching on the other subjects that I will produce documentaries on. They are all about the other Filipino cultural treasures not related to FMA.

AAP: If people want to know more where should they go?

JI: At the moment, the official website is still under construction, but they can join The Bladed Hand Facebook Group Page, The Bladed Hand Blog or follow us on Twitter (@thebladedhand).

oestranhomundodek: Pikachu Vs Spearows Check out my other Poké...

Tue, 16 Apr 2013 23:53:55 -0400

oestranhomundodek:

Pikachu Vs Spearows

Check out my other Poké gifs here

CowWow Cereal Milk damn its cereal flavored milk but without the...

Tue, 16 Apr 2013 00:41:03 -0400

CowWow Cereal Milk

damn

its cereal flavored milk but without the cereal

rubyetc: I had to draw this after so many people messaged me...

Sat, 13 Apr 2013 16:13:30 -0400

rubyetc:

I had to draw this after so many people messaged me explaining that they too have been blessed with Bitch-face, also known as Ultimate Scowl, Misery Features and Eternal Frowning

"Life isn’t Yugioh. I just don’t spring the “race card” to counter Blue eyes, Blond hair White..."

Sat, 13 Apr 2013 00:45:53 -0400

“Life isn’t Yugioh. I just don’t spring the “race card” to counter Blue eyes, Blond hair White Supremacist Dragon.”

- alex (via becausechocolatethatswhy)

COOKING MASTER BOY

Fri, 12 Apr 2013 21:34:07 -0400

COOKING MASTER BOY

pinoy-culture: sirjayvie: “Ang init.” English: “It’s...

Wed, 10 Apr 2013 19:07:55 -0400

pinoy-culture:

sirjayvie:

“Ang init.”

English: “It’s hot.”

And in the Philippines, oh yes it is.

The origin of the phrase “Women of Color” Loretta...

Wed, 10 Apr 2013 12:58:16 -0400

The origin of the phrase “Women of Color”

Loretta Ross, Women of Color Reproductive Justice Collective

Western States Center

"I really am grateful that my name is Jose Antonio Vargas. I could have been named something like…I..."

Fri, 05 Apr 2013 14:52:26 -0400

“I really am grateful that my name is Jose Antonio Vargas. I could have been named something like…I have family members whose last name is Batuyong. That’s very Filipino. But my name is very Hispanic, Latino. The Filipino community was like is he not proud of being Filipino? I got a lot of that. I am adobo- cooking, TFC-watching, Sharon Cuneta-Vilma Santos listening (Filipino). I’m as Filipino as they come. I speak Tagalog fluently. I understand Sambal, which is the dialect of Zambales where my grandparents come from. So if you think I’m not Filipino that’s your problem. That’s not my problem.”

- On being more closely identified with Latinos than Filipinos (via pag-asaharibon)